Chapter 4

I clutched onto Jasper as sobs wracked my body. What I had done -quitting my job- felt wrong, but he said it was for the best and I wanted nothing more than to please him. It wasn’t healthy to listen to him and have him control my life; I knew this. However, some voice in the back of my mind assured me he only wanted to keep me safe.

The last thing I remembered about that night, was falling asleep in his arms as he carried me up the stairs.

Waking up, I found Jasper sitting on the edge of the bed with a plate of food. I was nervous about this since he hadn’t allowed me to warm up the food the night before, but when I took the first bite, it was warm like it had just come out of the oven. The delicious cinnamon rolls and melted frosting tasted delicious and he had even brought me a glass of milk to drink with it.

“Bella.” I looked up at him, becoming locked in his gaze. “I want you to take my car home. You will go about your day as normal. If you see your boss, you will leave immediately and come here. If you do not see her, you will come as soon as night falls. If I do not answer the door, you are to come straight up to this bedroom, where you can watch a movie or take a nap. Am I understood?”

I nodded, but I wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying. The only thing I could comprehend was how his eyes seemed to brighten as he spoke to me.

“If anyone asks, Charlotte let you stay here for the night after I found you on my way home. It was too close to curfew to let you leave.”

Handing me his keys, he left the room. I went over to his drawers and pulled out a plaid flannel shirt to wear home. It was so comfortable and smelt exactly like Jasper; like sandalwood and magnolias. I had never taken time to really think about his scent before, but this was completely Jasper. It would always be him.

When I got home, Charlie was in the kitchen with Esme. I froze, my body screaming at me to go back to Jasper’s house, while my heart told me that it was extremely important for me to stay. This would probably get me grounded, now that Charlie knew I hadn’t stayed with her.

“Where have you been?” he demanded. I bit my lip, not sure how to answer. “Isabella, where were you last night?”

I looked down as I admitted, “Charlotte let me stay with them last night. Jasper found me on the streets and took me home with him, because it was too close to curfew.”

“I haven’t heard of that family before.”

“They moved in across town the other day.”

“Why did you even leave Esme’s house in the first place?”

I hesitated, not quite surprised that she hadn’t told him, but still not quite happy about it. “Carlisle...” I saw her saddened look. “He got mad. He hurt me and I got scared.”

“Next time, please call and let me know when you’re staying over at a friend’s house.” I nodded, fighting the instinct to go back to Jasper’s house. I knew that he told me something I had to do in case I saw Esme, but she was like my mom and she had even been a member of my mom’s coven, teaching me everything about our religion. “Are you okay?”

I could feel the panic rising in my chest as I stared at her. It wasn’t like anything I had ever experienced before; the need to both stay and run as fast as I could to Jasper’s car consumed me. This big struggle went on between my mind and my heart, each trying to be in control of my body. My breathing came out in gasps as my hands clenched into fists.

“Bella?” I felt Charlie’s hands on my arms. “What’s wrong?”

Tears slid down my cheeks as Esme walked towards me. “She’s having a panic attack.” I could barely see as I felt the dizziness start to settle in. “I think it’s because of me.”

Sure enough, as soon as she was out of the room, the feeling of being ripped in two disappeared and I could calm down.

“I-I need to get out of here,” I choked. “I need some air.”

“Well, be home by nightfall. Rose is coming to visit.”

I gasped in shock at this new piece of information. Rose was my godmother, my mother’s great-great-great aunt who had been turned into one of them. She was so much fun to be around though, and she always brought the best presents. It had been over a year since I had seen her and I had really missed her, even if we acted like we couldn’t stand each other at times.

“How long is she staying for?”

“At least until your birthday.”

I nodded and ran upstairs to quickly grab some things before heading back to Jasper’s. I noticed my kitten Chloe sitting on my bed and smiled as I reached down to pet her. When she hissed, I quickly jerked my hand away and gave her a weird look. She had never done anything like that to me before.

“Stupid cat,” I muttered as I turned away.

Reaching up, I felt around the top of my bookshelf when something hit my fingers. I stood on my tiptoes, feeling my fingers wrap around something pointy and pulled it down to see that it was my mom’s pentacle necklace. It had always been my favorite piece of her jewelry and Wicca-possessions. My entire life, I had seen pictures of her wearing it, but we had always assumed that they had taken it when she was killed.

As I put it on, I could feel a fog in my brain clearing up and I could remember everything, from the orders Jasper gave me to... I touched the gauze on my neck, shuddering at how he had fed of my blood these past two nights. I also remembered how Carlisle had attacked me and how Jasper had indeed done nothing but protect me. At least, if you don’t count him drinking my blood.

Whatever this was, it protected me from being influenced by them.

I jumped at hearing the knock on my bedroom door, turning to see Esme standing in the doorway. I felt bad for what I had said under Jasper’s influence, but at the same time she had it coming for trying to defend Carlisle after he hurt me. I had always been taught that we were good and they were bad. There were very few exceptions, but after everything, I didn’t know what to think anymore.

“Where did you find it?” she asked, noticing the necklace.

I glanced over at my bookshelf. “Up there. I... what is it?”

“Jasper.” I froze at that name. “That’s the name of the stone. It’s very rare and used to protect us. The pentacle was something passed through your mother’s family.” She looked into my eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I want to be alone.” She nodded and turned to leave. “Esme, I’m sorry about what happened last night. Can I...”

“Of course, sweetheart. Come in tomorrow morning.”

I closed my eyes as I clutched the pentacle in my hand, whispering, “Thank you for protecting me when I need you, Mom.”